As a women I am constantly feeling guilty

 4:30 AM on this beautiful Sunday (July 24 2016) I woke up with a toothache but I got myself up to make my husband coffee and a bagel with cream cheese, & sent him on his fishing trip. 

  I laid back down to try to sleep a little while longer hoping my tooth would feel better but my mind wandered to all the things that still have to be done in this house . I couldn't sleep. So I got up did the bed, folded and put away the big mountain of clean clothes waiting for me. Went downstairs and sat on my husbands recliner, but not for long.  I went outside to make sure the dogs and all plants had water

  Then I saw the restroom needed to be clean.  So I cleaned it... All this before 6:30 AM 

I was gonna have a piece of cake with my 3rd cup of coffee but I accidentally left the cake on the table and ants attacked it.  So there I go having to clean the table hahah!!

  I put a pork shoulder to cook for Tamale making Monday

NOW I am enjoying my 3rd cup of coffee, Ahhh

There's no big breakfast this morning.

And I feel guilty.  Cause I told my kiddos I would be doing it on Sunday's.

I feel guilty if I don't feed my husband, I feel guilty if I don't take care and feed and water my plants and dogs.

I feel guilty if I don't have clean clothes for hubby.

I feel guilty for a lot of things that need to be done.

I feel so much weight on my shoulders, and it's me who puts those weights on me.  I was blessed with the most understanding, chill husband ever.  He never pressures me or asks a lot from me, only that I love him and I do! 

  No one is pressuring me but ME!  

  I can only do so much, and I am the one who needs to know this.  I know I have a lot of things to do but I have a toothache so I am not going to let guilt get the best of me  

I 'm going to let rest and relaxation get the best of me.

  WE WOMEN PLACE SO MUCH ON OURSELVES THAT WE DON'T TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES WE DO NOT LISTEN TO OUR BODIES, TO OUR BONES THAT ARE SCREAMING FOR PEACE.

We listen to our doctors, to our friends and family but won't listen to what God's small voice is telling us about body. Remember to listen to what your body is saying to you...

I understand we put on many, many hats on our beautiful head (& we always will) but sometimes we gotta take 'em all off so we can lay our head on a pillow and be comfortable, even it is just for a little while

  God is my refuge so I end this now, so I can go there now :)

HAVE A GOOD SUNDAY.

HAVE A GOOD EVERY DAY!!!

My anxiety is general

I can't remember a time I didn't have anxiety.

There's not a day I don't clench my teeth.

I hate being on the verge of tears (like I am right now)  

Feeling anxious, nervous feeling sick to my stomach.

  I always say this is "My thorn in the flesh"  Like Saul after he becomes Paul (2 Cor. 12:7-)  

It's hard for me to understand how my mind can make my body run and make it run up to 5 miles even when I feel I can't run another step...   But no matter how hard I try to mentally stop being anxious; anxiety wins a lot of the times and then I am done!  I feel I'm not living life like I want to live life. I wish I could be stronger but I guess this is as strong as God needs me to be, for now, to be productive for His Glory 

  I do so many things afraid, scared, worried and anxious and I feel strong for that, 'cause like Joyce Meyer says "Do it afraid" I don't always manage it but I am no longer going to feel guilty for what is impossible for me to do. His grace is sufficient for me (2 Cor.12:9-) He knows me and what He needs and wants from me.  

  So even though at times my life is so damn hard to do, I have been blessed over and over; I will continue to "LIVE LIFE!"

God gave it to me so let's see what he has in store for me.

... I am very glad God loves me.